One could get a Toyota Tundra: ICE, no possibility for FSD...ever, slow, 100-year-old manufacturing techniques and materials, near perfect panel gaps.
Or...
CT: Practically zero-maintenance EV, drives me around town (eventually, people), fast, the future (see 48-volt, exo-skeleton, HFS)...
How about hand the kid working the rope a rag and spray-bottle of cleaner and have them wipe off the truck every so often instead of playing security guard? Very un-Musk like.