Tesla files patent for laser wipers

[Cyberman]

Quite possibly the biggest Cybertruck development in the past year! Seriously, this is what we were dreaming of when we first heard "laser wiper". Fuck yeah!

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[jwillis84]

I don't get it.. the Cybertruck will have a Compressed Air System as a standard feature.

Why not use that to feed a manifold at the base of the windscreen that fires Upwards and over the top of the airfoil?

Blowing "stuff" up.. its what we do best in Texas!

 

[anionic1]

Nothing like the smell of laser cooked June bug and bird shit.

 

[anionic1]

A laser couldn’t possibly handle rainfall. Lets say there’s 1 mm of water on a windshield. Standing water on a horizontal surface it about 4 mm. This is all just me guessing and doing some basic energy math. It would take somewhere between 1.5 kWh just to heat up that 1mm to steam. Obviously an hour would be too slow and the water is constantly hitting the windshield so the laser would need to work very fast. Lets say we wanted enough energy to cook that amount of water off in a second consistently for a minute you would need 90 kWh. That would be an entire battery pack. I know there are coatings on the windshield that help flow off and this is just an effort to show generally that you can’t replace a wiper with a laser for rain. Also, boiling that much water that quickly would make your truck look like a steam locomotive and would require military grade lasers that probably should not operate on the road.

 

[Crissa]

You shouldn't be driving if there's 4mm of water coating your car, wipers or no.

-Crissa

 

[anionic1]

You shouldn't be driving if there's 4mm of water coating your car, wipers or no.

-Crissa

I said 4mm on flat stationary surfaces, which is about how thick water will tend to be. Just over 1/8”. I guessed 1mm on the windshield due to angle. When you are driving in the rain it’s probably safe to guess your car is coated in about 1mm of rain. The point is using a laser to get rid of water is not practical due to the energy required. Maybe getting rid of debris but I would have some serious concerns about a laser on my windshield powerful enough to cook debris off.

 

[Crissa]

You shouldn't drive your car if it's coated in rain. Make sure it's beading and running off or you're going to be a blind hazard.

-Crissa

 

[rr6013]

I’m in Panama 4mm of water is nothing. There’s a reason buses down here all have snorkles. When it rains it pours.

 

[Crissa]

That sounds like a just-so story.

-Crissa

 

[FutureBoy]

So... If we actually end up with laser wipers, we don't need windshield wiper fluid anymore right? One less thing to keep checking or keep in stock. I'm guessing we still need to check brake fluid periodically. Possibly radiator coolant?

 

[FutureBoy]

Finally had time to go find the figures of the Tesla laser wiper patent.

Somehow, I get much better understanding by looking at the pictures. I guess I'm a picture book kind of guy.

 

[FutureBoy]

Having looked at the pictures, I have to wonder... Are these lasers going to be powerful enough to "thwart" the classic movie trope bad-guy that jumps on the hood of the vehicle and won't get off no matter how hard one swerves? Can I now just turn on the wipers and "ablate" him off?

 

[Bill906]

What happens if you just casually put your hand on the windshield?
What happens if you leave the laser wipers on when going through a car wash? (especially ones with brushes)

 

[FutureBoy]

Or if your camping stove breaks, can I just throw a couple of eggs at the windshield and then scrape them off real fast?

Or if a bird lands on the windshield. Do I end up with "lunch"? What if it is a bald eagle? Do I get prosecuted?

Sooooo many questions. But still excited.

Crossing my fingers this isn't one of those features that Zac and Jesse consider to be ok only for "warm climates". Would really suck if the lasers were only powerful enough for a misty rain but not an atmospheric river downpour.

 

[Crissa]

I think mildly sunburned eggs won't be what you want to eat.

-Crissa

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