My CyberBeast went in for a spa day and came back a newborn — with a lazy eye and a missing limb.

[ÉdesRózsa]

@CheddaTruck

What happened when you went back?

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[yerEVan]

@CheddaTruck

What happened when you went back?

Bump. You were written up in Electrek so now I need to know what happened. If you were not written up by Fred, then I’d not be interested in this issue.

I’m shallow and lame.

 

[CheddaTruck]

? CyberBeast Soap Opera — Episode “From Miracle Cure to Total Face-Plant… but LOOK at my Rebound Ride!” ?

(Tagline: Light-bar? Straight. Truck’s brain? Zombified. Loaner? Quicksilver Hottie.)


? Previously on As the Odo Turns …

Friday Night

• Service texts: “All fixed, detailed, come get your beauty!”
• I ditch Loaner #1, cruise home in a flawless CyberBeast.
• Light-bar: straighter than a Marine haircut.
• I cue the Disney end-credits; woodland creatures harmonize.

Saturday Morning

• I open the door, coffee in hand—my truck’s gone full Bird Box.
  • Cameras: all eight blacker than a goth latte.
  • Nav: vanished—truck thinks the world is flat.
  • Blind-spot indicators: hilariously ironic when you have zero vision.
  • MCU: rage-quit harder than a toddler denied Skittles.
  • Reboot dance? About as useful as screaming at a Roomba.

Result: 100-mile Walk of Shame 2.0 back to service.


?️ Service Center, Déjà Vu Edition

• Tech: “We’ll just reinstall software!”
• Software: 404 – Brain Not Found.
• Tech: ”Huh… MCU appears to have yeeted itself into the Shadow Realm.”

They roll out Loaner #2 and—HELLO, NURSE—brand-new Quicksilver Model Y.

• Paint shines so hard I can do my taxes in the reflection.
• 0-60? Spicier than group chat drama.
• Handles like it’s late for a brunch reservation.

? Current Leaderboard

Quest	Status	LOL Meter
Light-bar alignment	Miracle ✓	?
CyberBeast eyesight	RIP	?️
MCU brainwaves	Flatline
Loaner flex	Quicksilver Yum-Y	?

? Survival Tips for Light-Bar Hopefuls

1. Photograph your odometer, your light-bar gap, and your soul before pickup—stuff disappears.
2. Keep a suitcase labeled “100-Mile Return Trip Snacks.” (Pro tip: gummy bears soothe rage.)
3. If they toss you keys to a Quicksilver Y, enjoy the “apology sparkle” while you can; it’s basically Tesla handing you a lollipop after a tetanus shot.

Stay tuned, folks—next update drops when my CyberBeast’s MCU respawns… or when I trade the whole saga for Quicksilver’s phone number. ?

 

[hemiarch]

Once again sorry that happened to you.Highly entertaining however.

 

[65SoYoLO]

I can't believe the truck died! On a lighter note are you a professional comedian or writer? If not you should be.

 

[ÉdesRózsa]

Thank you for the update!! Definitely watching for the next one!!

I can't believe all this is going on... what is Tesla saying to you about it???

 

[SlegMD]

Should be a wham bam for Tesla service experiences

 

[CheddaTruck]

?? CYBERBEAST CHRONICLES — ULTRA-MELTDOWN EDITION ??

My truck is basically a stainless-steel Tamagotchi with no batteries, my loaner just rage-quit FSD, and I’m one firmware error away from hosting an exorcism on Instagram Live.


? ROLLER-COASTER RECAP

Day	What I expected	What actually exploded
Yesterday	Cruise my Quicksilver Y with Full Self-Driving swag.	Tap FSD ➜ ABRACADABRA! Icon Houdini’s. Car downgrades to Flintstone trim.
		Service text: “Oh, we sold that demo car overnight. New owner ordered ‘Just Vibes’ package.”
Today	Reunite with my freshly brain-implanted CyberBeast.	Service: “New main computer lobotomized itself mid-flash, chanting Latin. Keeping it indefinitely.”

? LOANER FSD: NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU’RE RIDING A SEGWAY

1. Hop in: Quicksilver paint so shiny birds selfie on it.
2. Hit FSD icon: BZZT! disappears faster than a politician’s promise.
3. Car’s IQ plummets. I’m basically steering a glitter-wrapped stapler.

? CYBERBEAST BRAIN SURGERY: FROM JARVIS TO JAR-OF-PICKLES

• Brand-new MCU inserted.
• Firmware attempts to boot, yells “WRONG DIMENSION!” and rage-quits.
• Truck now a $100 k lawn ornament with catwalk-perfect light-bar.

? CHAOS LEADERBOARD

Feature	Fate	Ridiculousness
Light-bar	Laser-straight, smug AF	?
Cameras/Nav	TOTAL DARKNESS	?️
Odometer	Breathing (for now)	?
MCU	Possessed potato	?
Loaner powers	FSD Thanos-snapped	?
Round-trip stamps	3/5 ➜ free “Delayed OTA” candle	?️

? SURVIVAL MANUAL, CHAOS MODE ON

1. If your loaner sparkles too hard → assume it’s already spoken for; treat it like a Tinder date that’s “just visiting.”
2. Brain swap day? Bring holy water, Bluetooth speakers blasting Eye of the Tiger, and a goat. Goats fix everything.
3. Keep a 100-mile Snack Coffin: caffeine, jerky, emotional support churros.

? COMING ATTRACTIONS

• Will CyberBeast’s new brain stop chanting and actually boot?
• Will Loaner #3 be Plaid or a Roomba with Tesla logos?
• Will I finally earn the legendary Therapist Candle (“Eau de Perpetual Beta”)?

Tune in next week—same glitch time, same glitch channel! Bring popcorn, bubble levels, and maybe an exorcist. ??

 

[misdemeanor]

Brand-new MCU inserted

So this caused the odometer reset? Did your VIN change in the process or did it keep the same VIN?

 

[dalton108]

Once again sorry that happened to you.Highly entertaining however.

Yes, ChatGPT did a great job writing this up. Overuse of em dashes, emoji’s, tables these are classic signs.

Give credit where credit is due, not where it’s AI generated (and not expressly disclosed).

 

[motleytwins]

The original plan

• Install the fancy light-bar.
• Nudge a couple of panel gaps.
• Check an ABS alert (because the truck likes to cosplay as a Christmas tree).

Tesla: “No problem, we’ll have it done by Thursday night!”
Me, foolishly optimistic: “Sweet, what could possibly go wrong?”


The reality show (week-long mini-series)

Day	Tesla’s script	Plot twist
Wed	“Ready by Thursday EOD.”	Foreshadowing.
Thu	“LOL nope — make it Friday.”	Suspense builds.
Fri 3 pm	I text: “Status? I live 100 miles away.” Tesla: “Still replacing the left body controller.”	Cool, just casually swapping the truck’s brain.
Fri 5:30 pm	“Come and get it!”	Finale. Or so I thought.

Pickup checklist (a.k.a. the blooper reel)

1. Phone key forgotten by the truck
   – Had to re-pair it like an ex who blocked my number.
2. Trim under glove box dangling like a loose tooth
   – I pushed it back in. DIY achievement unlocked.
3. Odometer: ZERO.
   – My 26 k-mile CyberBeast is now a CyberBaby. Shot a video while the “count” rolled from 0 → 1 as I left the lot. App and service menu agree — factory-fresh, just ignore the 5 months of road-trip Dorito dust.
4. Light-bar installation by Picasso
   – Passenger side: ½-inch gap. Driver side: snug as a bug. It’s basically smiling sideways at everyone.
5. Tailgate bolt MIA (found lounging inside the tailgate)
   – Bonus: it carved a gouge while surfing around back there. Trim in that corner also half-attached, like the tech ran out of clips and faith at the same time.

Crowd-sourced wisdom needed

• Anyone else have their odometer Thanos-snapped after a controller swap? Can Tesla unsnap it or am I forever “True Mileage Unknown”?
• Light-bar redo: full windshield surgery or can they just yell “Wingardium Leviosa” and level it?
• Tailgate dent + missing bolt: demand a proper repair or accept “free character”?
• At what point do I summon ExecutiveCare / BBB Auto-line / Oregon’s lemon-law Avengers?

Pics, video, and my shredded sanity attached. All advice appreciated before I return Monday with coffee, receipts, and the energy of a disappointed parent at a science fair.

I'm having a similar situation with my FS Cybertruck and only wish that I could articulate my frustration and anger as well as you!
2/26/25: I submitted a Service Request and couldn't get an appointment until 5/20/25, nearly three months later! It was for a knocking noise in my rear drive/suspension area.
5/20/25: Road test with CT Technician who agreed on the knocking noise, so I dropped it off.
5/23/25: CT is still parked OUTSIDE the Tampa SC, so I send a query.
Response: it's still in Diagnosis Queue!
5/27/25: I receive my latest Recall Notice in the mail and send a query to see if they can make the fix while it's there.
Response: NO, you have to submit a new Service Request!! They also changed my completion date to 5/27/25, one week from my delivery!
5/28/25: They updated my completion to 6/3/25 saying they HV wiring harness that Tesla sent was the wrong one! I didn't have a HV wiring harness issue, that I knew of!
6/3/25: They changed my completion date 6/6/25 saying they're still diagnosing the noise (after TWO WEEKS of "diagnosing").

I asked the Service Manager or the General Manager to call me and have yet to hear from either one! We are leaving on June 11th for an extended visit to my wife's family in Germany and I need it back before we depart, as I don't want it sitting at the Tampa SC for 2 1/2 months!

Tamp Service Center is so backlogged on maintenance issues that it is taking months to get an appointment and then weeks to diagnose and fix the issues! This is completely unacceptable, especially for a $100,000 truck!

Hopefully Elon can fix the Service Center issues now that he's back at work at Tesla!

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